If you have ADHD, you know that many things can trigger big feelings. Sudden flashes of anger, intense fear, or heavy guilt can all compel you to act differently than you ever would when you’re calm. In the ADHD brain, this is caused by dysregulation of emotions combined with poor impulse control.
Why Emotional Dysregulation is Different with ADHD
The source issue with emotional regulation and ADHD has to do with executive functions, brain-based processes that manage daily life. Executive functions in individuals with ADHD have deficits in their ability to regulate themselves consistently. Here are some specific ways executive functions are impacted in the ADHD brain:
- Impulsivity: the tendency to say and act how you feel (or act abruptly, without any ability to pause.
- Emotional dysregulation: even minor triggers can cause huge emotional reactions, causing you to feel more deeply, more intensely, and have a harder time compartmentalizing strong feelings.
What Emotional Dysregulation Looks Like at Work
Emotional regulation is even more challenging at work than in other aspects of life. The primary reason is that you have to be
vigilant. There are social rules of professionalism that require you to be more regulated than with people in your personal life. Despite your best efforts to mask how you feel, big emotions tend to spill out in considerable ways:
- Strong reactions to perceived criticism
- Low patience with co-workers
- Crying alone in your car or in the bathroom
- ADHD looping (ruminating thoughts that review all the things you did wrong) that distract you from your work
- Feeling overwhelmed in meetings and freezing
However, many people with ADHD feel broken because of their big feelings, which reinforces feelings of shame and guilt. It’s important to reframe that ADHD brains aren’t broken; they are just wired differently and require a different set of coping skills.
Understanding ADHD triggers
While emotions affect you differently with ADHD, emotional triggers do too. Consider the following common ADHD triggers:
- Feeling Misunderstood
- Interruptions
- Injustice
- Criticism related to executive dysfunction (i.e., “looks like you forgot…again!”)
Knowing your triggers allows you to stay one step ahead of your reactions.
Tips for ADHD and Emotional Regulation at Work
#1 Calm your reaction/body
Emotions hit first; your reaction doesn’t have to. Rather than trying to control how you feel, practice slowing down your body. One of the best treatments for emotional regulation of ADHD is meditation. For it to work, you should consider building a daily meditation practice (keyword here is practice). However, there are other ways to meditate, as well. This might look like any of the following:
- Take a micro-pause: deep breath, count to 5, take a sip of water, ask to revisit a conversation in 10 minutes.
- Going for a walk
- Name and notice the emotion
#2 Cope ahead by building regulation into your day
Consider those situations that trigger you the most. Make a list. Try putting barriers in your day to reduce the frequency of those triggers. Some examples include:
- Reduce sensory overload: use headphones, work in a quiet workspace, and turn off notifications during deep work.
- Keep a “reset routine”: stretch, walk, music, grounding at a certain time (maybe right after you meet with you know who to discuss you know what 😬)
#3 Set communication boundaries
Do you ever wish you could let people know the best way to communicate with you? It’s not always possible to make requests on your own terms (such as with a boss), but many people really want to know how best to contact you. Do you respond best to emails or in-person communication? Would it be helpful for you to get a chance to summarize what someone needs you to know, to ensure you understand? And as a rule of thumb: always go for clarification rather than avoidance.
Key Takeaways
- Emotions impact people with ADHD differently
- Managing big emotions requires shifting your reactions
- Knowing your triggers and having a plan helps to regulate emotions with ADHD
Begin Emotional Regulation Therapy in Columbus, OH
Looking for more individualized support? You don’t have to live a life impacted by big feelings at work. ADHD-focused therapy can help you find mental calm. Our counseling practice in Columbus, Ohio, has caring therapists who specialize in ADHD testing and treatment. To start your counseling journey with Focused Mind ADHD Counseling, follow these simple steps:
- Fill out the contact form to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.
- Meet with one of our caring therapists.
- Stop feeling out of control. Start finding peace of mind.
Other ADHD Services Offered at Focused Mind ADHD Counseling
Adult ADHD treatment is not the only service we offer at our Columbus, OH counseling practice. At Focused Mind ADHD Counseling, we offer a variety of mental health services, including ADHD testing. As an adult with ADHD, you may also benefit from ADHD testing, anxiety treatment for ADHD, counseling for men with ADHD, counseling for women with ADHD, couples therapy for ADHD, or depression counseling for ADHD. You can also view our blog for more resources and helpful info.
About the Author
Billy Roberts, LISW-S, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist and ADHD expert in Columbus, Ohio, specializing in ADD/ADHD in adults. He has been seen in TimeMagazine, CNN, HuffPost, and Forbes discussing his unique approach to ADHD-focused therapy. See Full Bio.
