Writing emails is so exhausting. What to say, how to phrase it, wondering if other people take it the wrong way… And recovering from the awkward feelings of self-judgment after you write the email? Torture. If this sounds familiar, then you’re one of many people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) who experience ADHD overthinking. Many parts of ADHD and overthinking go overlooked. In particular, the relationship between overthinking and rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD).
RSD and ADHD overthinking create a negative feedback loop. Once you fear rejection, the endless ways of trying to avoid it take over your mind like a computer virus. This makes overthinking one of the main signs of RSD.
What is RSD?
Rejection-sensitive dysphoria (RSD) is an intense emotional sensitivity or pain triggered by the perception that one has been criticized or rejected. Some events that could trigger RSD include: getting into a disagreement with co-workers, getting “ghosted” by a friend or on a first date, or receiving harsh feedback from a boss.
Criticism can feel so intense, it ruins your day. You spend hours recovering from the emotional pain. Over time, you spend a lot of time trying to figure out how you can avoid rejection in the future. It can be impossible to escape. If you get a new job because you believe your boss is mad at you, when you get home from work, you then believe your partner is mad at you. Because you can’t escape relationships. It’s nearly impossible to live without the constant fear of rejection entirely.
What is the Role of Overthinking in ADHD?
Overthinking in ADHDers is common. The main reason is that the ADHD brains get wrapped up in emotional threats, particularly socially driven ones. The tendency to get entangled in these emotional states triggers the ADHD brain to engage in excessive mental replay, analysis paralysis, and second-guessing. Enter overthinking.
To make matters worse, working memory is impaired in ADHD brains. This causes the ADHD brain to hold multiple pieces of information in mind, creating difficulty in organizing thoughts in a linear fashion. Perhaps you can relate to your brain feeling like a racecar or ping-pong ball?
How RSD and Overthinking Feed Each Other
The emotional pain of rejection fuels overthinking as a way to avoid future rejection, but all that thinking only creates more distress. And round and round your brain spins. What happens next is an inner critic emerging and judging you for overthinking…which only leads to more overthinking.
Breaking the ADHD Overthinking and RSD Cycle
- Name what’s happening: Could this be RSD? Sometimes, just stepping outside the story in your mind and calling it what it is can help break the ADHD overthinking loop.
- Cognitive appraisal: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) offers tools to re-evaluate. One way to do this is to question the evidence. When someone reschedules your coffee date, maybe someone is rejecting you…or maybe they might actually be tired and burnt out from work.
- Seeking safety and getting support: One of the best ways to calm RSD is to find support. This might come in the form of a pet, a good friend, or an ADHD therapist. The important part is finding the right person (or pet) who will be on your team.
Key Takeaways
- ADHD causes difficulty in organizing thoughts
- Overthinking is a sign of RSD
- RSD and overthinking fuel one another
- In order to overcome the ADHD overthinking and RSD cycle, you need strategies to break
Begin Adult ADHD Treatment in Columbus, Ohio
Looking for more individualized support? You don’t have to live in endless cycles of ADHD overthinking and avoiding rejection. ADHD-focused therapy can help you calm your mind and emotions. Our counseling practice in Columbus, Ohio, has caring therapists who specialize in ADHD testing and ADHD treatment. To start your counseling journey with Focused Mind ADHD Counseling, follow these simple steps:
- Fill out the contact form to schedule a free 15-minute phone call.
- Meet with one of our caring therapists.
- Stop overthinking. Start finding confidence and calm.
Other ADHD Services Offered at Focused Mind ADHD Counseling
Adult ADHD treatment is not the only service we offer at our Columbus, OH counseling practice. At Focused Mind ADHD Counseling, we offer a variety of mental health services, including ADHD testing. As an adult with ADHD, we know you may also benefit from anxiety treatment for ADHD, counseling for men with ADHD, couples therapy for ADHD, or depression counseling for ADHD. You can also view our blog for more resources and helpful info.
