ADHDers can have amazing relationships. Their sense of flexibility, warmth, and fun lends itself to a lifetime of meaningful connection. Onnnnn the other hand: many ADHD adults face unique obstacles in their relationships from time to time.
In fact, many adults with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) often feel that there is a layer of judgment when it comes to their ADHD quirks. If one partner is not neurodivergent, there is likely going to be many parts of the ADHD brain that they simply do not understand. Many partners of ADHDers express feelings of frustration that they are “picking up the pieces” and carrying the weight of the more mundane and overwhelming parts of daily life. Without the right tools for communication, things can escalate and completely change the dynamics of a relationship over time.
How Exactly Does ADHD Impact Relationships?
Emotional Regulation
For the ADHDer, big emotions are often a daily occurrence. ADHD and emotions have an interesting relationship. Many folks with ADHD experience a feeling so quickly that they can go from zero to 90. Or they struggle to recover from emotions, overthinking late into the night.
For the non-ADHD spouse, this can often lead to tuning your partner out, which in turn feels like an invalidation. As a result, invalidation goes both ways and makes the couple feel distant.
Rejection Sensitivity
The majority of people with ADHD discuss feeling hypersensitive to criticism. This is called Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). Feeling sensitive to rejection can mean that it’s hard asking for what one needs from another person. And it also can lead to isolation. There are many folks with RSD that want to be in relationships but struggle to break out of isolation for fear of criticism or rejection. And for those who are pursuing a partner, RSD can make both dating and long-term relationships difficult at times.
Forgetfulness
The ADHD brain struggles with focus at the moment. This can cause struggles with remembering details of what was said. For the non-ADHD spouse, forgetfulness might come off as dismissive or aloof. This is not the case. Many ADHDers actually feel pretty ashamed that they forgot what was said. But the big feelings for both the ADHDer and non-ADHDer lead to breakdowns in communication.
Tips for Untangling Communication Issues:
Knowledge
The more you know about your ADHD, the more you can help educate your partners. Knowledge can help minimize misunderstandings around ADHD traits.
Know How You Feel
Emotional awareness is key to communication and coping with how you feel. Being in touch with your emotions will ground you, making it easier to get your needs met.
Be Mindful of ADHD
ADHD isn’t just some personality trait that happens occasionally. ADHD impacts many aspects of your life, thoughts, and emotions. The more an ADHDer is aware of the nooks and crannies of their own ADHD traits, the more they can strategize around the frustrating parts and turn up the volume on their ADHD superpowers.
BEGIN ADHD TREATMENT IN COLUMBUS, OHIO
You don’t have to live your life on an emotional roller coaster. Our counseling practice in Columbus, Ohio has caring therapists who specialize in ADHD Testing and ADHD Treatment. To start your counseling journey, follow these simple steps:
- Fill out the contact form to reach out and schedule a free 15-minute phone
- Meet with one of our caring therapists.
- Stop feeling invalidated. Start feeling heard.
Other ADHD Services Offered at Focused Mind ADHD Counseling
Adult ADHD treatment is not the only service we offer at our Columbus, OH-based counseling practice. At Focused Mind ADHD Counseling, we offer a variety of mental health services including ADHD testing. We know that as an adult with ADHD, you may also benefit from anxiety treatment for ADHD, counseling for men with ADHD, or depression counseling for ADHD. You can also view our blog for more resources and helpful info!
