Could my Partner’s ADHD be Impacting our Relationship? A Non-ADHDer Spouse’s Questions Answered

A couple appear upset while looking at a paper. Focused Mind ADHD Counseling can offer support for your relationship. We offer ADHD testing in Columbus, OH and other services. Learn more by searching "ADHD therapist for adults near me" today.

Adults with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are often quick, smart, spontaneous, and creative. But it’s also pretty common for their spouses to feel they are absent at times. Not necessarily physically, but more so emotionally or mentally. These symptoms can often be recognized through ADHD testing. For example, the non-ADHD spouse may notice how their ADHD spouse gets immersed in certain areas of focus, overlooking things that are important to them. The real trouble is that without an accurate diagnosis or understanding of ADHD, the non-ADHD spouse can live life feeling overwhelmed and invalidated. In fact, there are many ways untreated ADHD can impact a relationship:

“My spouse jumps from big feeling to big feeling. Is that related to ADHD?”

Yes. ADHD is a self-regulation disorder, and that includes emotional regulation. Not only will ADHD create big feelings, but it will create big feelings that come upon a person quickly. This causes many partners of ADHDers to feel like they are on a roller coaster with their ADHD partner. This symptom is based on the hyperactivity and impulsivity part of ADHD. This trait in the brain causes a person with ADHD to struggle with the “pause button” between action and response, so there is little time to self-regulate. A big part of learning to manage ADHD is learning the ability to regulate emotions.

“My partner zones out in conversation a lot. Is that intentional?”A couple appear to be arguing while looking at a stack of papers. ADHD testing in Columbus, OH can help you address relationship issues. Contact Focused Mind ADHD Counseling to learn more about ADHD symptoms Ohio and how anxiety therapy in Columbus, OH can offer support.

No, not at all. ADHD literally means struggles with paying attention. In addition, adults who are hyperactive find it hard to stay in the same place. They are often on the go, which can translate into a sense of invalidation or indifference when a partner is looking to connect. There are many ways around this to help increase connection in a relationship, but its essence is simply an ADHD brain’s natural tendency.

“My partner really struggles with time management and forgetfulness. This often feels intentional, so what is it about ADHD that causes this to happen?

A couple sit together while looking at a tablet. Focused Mind ADHD Counseling can offer support for your relationship via ADHD testing in Columbus, OH. Learn more about anxiety therapy in Columbus, OH by searching "adhd symptoms ohio" today. The ability to plan is one of the brain’s executive functions––the brain’s CEO––which is the part that is impaired in ADHDers. ADHD folks tend to be nearsighted toward the future. They get so wrapped up in the moment that they struggle to consider what is ahead…or on the side. They are often just blind to time. This is not usually meant to be hurtful or invalidating to spouses. It is simply the brain’s programming (so to speak). Rather, it’s more likely the ADHD partner carries a lot of guilt and shame around their time-management struggles. For an ADHD person, there are only two times: now and not now.

“What’s the best first step in helping my spouse with ADHD?” A couple sits together while enjoying coffee. Focused Mind ADHD Counseling can offer support for your relationship with anxiety therapy in Columbus, OH. Learn more about ADHD testing in Columbus, OH and other services by searching "adhd therapist for adults near me".

The best first step for any ADHDer and their spouse is to learn more about ADHD. A good way to do this is to receive support from someone outside of the relationship who can help educate the ADHDer on the inner workings of ADHD. For some, this might mean an accurate diagnosis as a first step. This is usually done via ADHD testing. If one is undiagnosed, it can be incredibly healing and liberating to discover the truth behind their struggles with time management, forgetfulness, or emotional regulation. For those who know they have ADHD, this might mean ADHD therapy with an ADHD specialist who actually understands their ADHD. Getting the right kind of help will lead to better communication and the right skills to improve focus, build structure, and have a better quality of life, including within their relationships.

Begin Adult ADHD Testing or ADHD Treatment in Columbus, OH

 You don’t have to live your life feeling overwhelmed. Testing and treatment can help you find real understanding and real solutions. Our Columbus OH-based counseling practice has caring adult ADHD specialists. To start your journey with our adult ADHD specialist, follow these simple steps:

Other ADHD Services Offered at Focused Mind ADHD Counseling

 We offer a variety of mental health services that go beyond adult ADHD treatment at our Columbus, OH counseling practice. As an adult with ADHD, Focused Mind ADHD Counseling understands you may also benefit from anxiety treatment for ADHD, counseling for men with ADHD, or depression counseling for ADHD. You can also view our blog for more resources and helpful info. We look forward to connecting with you!