ADHD and Relationships: Is a Lack of ADHD Awareness Taking a Toll on Your Marriage?

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Most individuals who have adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) don’t know they have…ADHD. Once diagnosed, many ADHD adults are even more surprised by all the ways their minds work that are related to ADHD. How does this affect ADHD and relationships? In different ways. But it’s somewhere in the ballpark of overwhelm, anger, and disconnection. And the more a family has on its plate, the more these emotions intensify. However, understanding the unique ways ADHD impacts relationships can be the first step to finding the best possible version of your relationship.

Executive Functioning

ADHD is a condition of executive functioning. Being ADHD means that the brain’s CEO (so to speak) isn’t always online. There are several executive functions, including working memory, planning ahead, internal motivation, organization of thoughts and ideas, self-regulation, and more.

Working MemoryA couple sit on a sofa and gesture with their hands while having a conversation. Learn how a Columbus ADHD therapist can help improve ADHD and relationships by searching for ADHD treatment in Columbus, OH. Search for "adhd in adults ohio" to learn more.

Working memory is the brain’s ability to hold thoughts in mind long enough to apply them to the task at hand. For example, they may think, “I need to go get my keys,” but then arrive at the kitchen and not recall anything.

How does working memory impact ADHD and relationships? All relationships are impacted if individuals don’t follow through on things. However, the issue here is that ADHD individuals have a brain that doesn’t allow them to complete tasks in the same way as a non-ADHD person. The result? Well, sometimes, conflict and resentment.

Difficulty Filtering Out Distractions

“Did you hear what I just said?” Most ADHD individuals will find that their heart sinks when they hear these words. However, for their non-ADHD spouse, this can cause the feeling of invalidation.

Self-regulation

ADHD impacts a person’s ability to manage impulses. For example, wanting to make purchases or even spontaneously change plans. On the one hand, this is truly an ADHD superpower. We wouldn’t have great works of art or major technological advances without busy brains constantly thinking outside the box. On the other hand, when this trait isn’t really understood, it’s harder to manage life. For a relationship? It can sometimes feel exciting and other times frustrating as one partner might be trying to keep more order and structure than will fit with an ADHD brain.

A family of three smile while preparing a salad in a kitchen. Learn how a therapist in Columbus Ohio can help you with ADHD and relationships. Search for ADHD in adults Ohio or "adhd and relationships" to learn more about the help a Columbus ADHD therapist can offer.Planning Ahead

No one likes when people forget their birthday or anniversary. While not all ADHDers fail to plan ahead in this way (heck, some are amazing at throwing parties and remembering meaningful events), many do struggle to fully plan ahead in day-to-day life. This can influence if dinner is made on time or if the kids have their soccer gear.

Criticism

Without a proper diagnosis or having learned more about ADHD (through counseling or your own research), ADHD traits get misunderstood or mismanaged. What happens next? Couples often find themselves in cycles of criticism that impact their relationship (and their self-esteem as individuals).

Improving ADHD and Relationship FunctioningA woman wraps an arm around their partner sitting on a couch and typing on a laptop. This could represent searching for the right Columbus ADHD therapist. Learn how a Columbus ADHD therapist can help improve ADHD and relationships by searching for ADHD treatment in Columbus, OH. Search for "adhd in adults ohio" to learn more.

Understanding ADHD is the most powerful tool to live as an ADHDer. However, ADHD never impacts any two people in the same way. The brain is a complex organ. In addition, ADHD impacts people differently depending on their context, personality, etc. While one ADHDer might struggle more with motivation, another might struggle more with impulse control. The key is finding ways to work with ADHD but developing an individualized treatment plan. Rather than “cookie cutter,” one-size-fits-all approaches, individualized services create lasting, life-long improvements.

Begin Adult ADHD Testing and ADHD Treatment in Columbus, Ohio

Looking for more individualized support? You don’t have to feel disconnected. ADHD-focused therapy that focuses on managing life in a way that works for you can help you feel good about yourself. Our counseling practice in Columbus, Ohio has caring therapists who specialize in ADHD testing and ADHD treatment. To start your counseling journey, follow these simple steps:

  • Fill out the contact form to schedule a free 15-minute phone
  • Meet with one of our caring therapists.
  • Stop feeling lost. Start finding connection.

Other ADHD Services Offered at Focused Mind ADHD Counseling

Adult ADHD treatment is not the only service we offer at our Columbus, OH counseling practice. At Focused Mind ADHD Counseling, we offer a variety of mental health services, including ADHD testing. As an adult with ADHD, we know you may also benefit from anxiety treatment for ADHD, counseling for men with ADHD, or depression counseling for ADHD. You can also view our blog for more resources and helpful info!